Leadership that lasts starts in the heart

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 ~

Before we can lead a team, a ministry, or a congregation, we must lead ourselves. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts, “for everything you do flows from it.” Leadership begins in the inner life. Our engagement in spiritual disciplines, our emotional health, and our thought patterns will either support or sabotage our leadership. What we engage in daily will form us and guide us into who we are becoming.

It is easy to run on empty while trying to pour into others. But sustainable leadership comes from overflow, not depletion. That means prioritizing our soul. Make space to sit with God: not just to prepare to lead others, but to let Him lead us. Our personal time in the word and prayer is our most important priority as a leader.

Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:16, “Watch your life and doctrine closely.”

Healthy leaders invest in soul care, cultivate habits of holiness, and know when to rest. If we neglect ourselves, our leadership will eventually crumble. There is not only one specific way to do this. If you need help building a good self-care plan, one of the church leadaers can help you with this.

Read 1 Timothy 4:16. Is there anything that stands out in your life that you need to let go of or start doing more of, in order to grow as a leader?

Charm Might Open Doors But Character Keeps Us There

In the world, leaders are often praised for being confident, talented and/or magnetic. In the church, we are tempted to chase only those qualities. In the Kingdom of God, character always comes before charm. We need to develop godly character alongside these other gifts to be a well rounded leader.

It does not matter how gifted we are if our lives are not grounded in Christ- like character. Leadership is not just about what we can do, it is about who we are becoming.

Read 2 Corinthians 3:18. How do you see yourself being transformed?

What is Under the Surface

Think of life like a tree. The visible parts: our ministry, our skills, our ideas – these are what people see. But the roots are our character. If the roots are weak, the whole tree is vulnerable. A weak rooted tree will fall if a storm hits, or it will die quickly if there is a drought. We need to be rooted in our faith to withstand as a leader.

Character is the hidden, consistent part of who we are:

• How we speak when no one is listening
• How we respond to pressure or offense
• How we treat those who cannot benefit you

Jesus said it plainly: “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.”~ Matthew 7:18

Write out Psalm 1:1-3. Spend time memorizing this verse this week.

The Fruit of the Spirit Is the Mark of Maturity

We do not need a title to lead, but we do need fruit. This fruit is not achieved; it is cultivated. It comes from walking closely with the Holy Spirit. Most of us grew up hearing “actions speak louder than words” and this is proof of that. What we do says more than anything we say.

The best leaders grow in:

• Love – even when it is hard
• Joy – even when it is hidden
• Peace – even in chaos
• Patience – especially with people
• Kindness – when it is inconvenient
• Goodness – when no one is looking
• Faithfulness – when it is hard to show up Gentleness – when it would be easier to be harsh Self-control – when everything wants a reaction
  • {Galatians 5:22-23}

Compare Galatians 5:22-23 and Ephesians 4:1-3. Write down what the Lord is speaking to you.

When Leaders Lack Character

A leader without character is like a candle with no flame. We may look the part, but we will not bring light.

When a leader lacks character and accountability, that leadership will be focused on self-exaltation, self-preservation, self-interest. Abuse of power, lack of transparency and honesty corrupt practices, prioritizing of personal gain, lack the moral compass that guides ethical decision making.

Sometimes, gifted people burn out, hurt others, or cause division, not because they were not called, but because they were not rooted.

God would rather we grow slowly and deeply than quickly and shallowly.

Read Psalm 1 and compare/contrast the one blessed person and the wicked person.

Who We Are > What We Do

Our ministry role may change. Our foundation in Christ is key to who we are and to how we serve. But who we are in Christ is eternal. Build that first in Christ.

God wants our willing hands, and He wants our whole heart.

Read 2 Timothy 2:21. Take time to sit in prayer, confessing anything that may be hindering you from spiritual growth.

How Is God Growing Our Character?

Transformation and evolution of our personality, beliefs, behaviors, and values over time often involves:

• Responding to experiences, challenges and interactions Learning from mistakes and adapting
• Shifting motivations, flaws and strengths
• Developing emotional intelligence
• Nurturing relationships

It is through life experience that our character grows. It is not in the easiest times. It is in the pressure we go through. A diamond only shows its identity after a piece of coal goes under extreme pressure. God often shapes leaders in:

• Obscurity– learning to serve without applause. When something is obscure it is hidden in darkness, not clearly seen or easily distinguished.
• Frustration – learning patience when things do not go your way 
• Failure – learning humility through mistakes
• Correction – learning to receive truth in love

These moments are not always signs your off track. They can be signs God is getting you ready for what is next.

In Romans 5:3-5 there is a progression to growth. Write out this progression. Where do you find yourself here?

How Does God Build Character?

God builds a godly character within us. It is not something we just have. He does this through spiritual disciplines and through lived experiences. Through the journey of becoming a better version of ourselves, which is often driven by internal conflict and a desire of self-improvement. We intentionally cultivate certain traits and qualities that define our character and guide our behavior. It is about laying a strong foundation for our identity and includes:

• Identifying core values: understanding what is important to us and aligning our actions with those values.
• Practicing positive habits: Developing virtues like resilience, self- discipline, and integrity, through consistent effort and practice.
• Setting goals and working to achieve them: this builds traits like determination and accountability.
• Learning from exemplars and mentors: studying and emulating those who embody desirable character traits can provide guidance.
• Seeking feed back and mentorship: Constructive criticism helps identify blind spots and accelerate character building.

Spiritual Disciplines include:

We have the choice to learn from our lived experiences and grow closer to the Lord through them, or we can allow ourselves to become bitter, angry, discontent through these experiences.

James 1:2-4 gives us another characteristic we build when going through trials. What is that?

Reflection Questions:

• Which fruits of the Spirit do you see growing in your life?
• Which fruits of the Spirit are harder for you to live in?
• What spiritual disciplines do you currently practice?
• How do you refill spiritually when you feel depleted?
• How do you react when someone corrects you or disagrees with you?
• What character traits is God asking you to work on right now that may be working against your spiritual growth?

Personal Challenge:

Pick one spiritual discipline to add to your daily spiritual life. Write down how you will engage with that discipline.

Leadership Challenge:

This week, ask someone you trust (a spouse, a mentor, pastor, fellow believer):

“What part of my character do you think God is refining right now?”

Be open. Don’t defend – just receive. Then bring it to prayer and let God continue shaping you.

Prayer & Journaling:

Lord, help me care for my soul as much as I care for my ministry. Draw me closer to You…

Discussion Questions:

1. When looking at “What is Under the Surface” how did you feel you hold up in your character in light of how you speak when no one is listening, how you respond to pressure or offense, and how do you treat others who can not benefit you? This is a place for real reflection – not a place for judgment and guilt.
2. Are there fruits of the spirit you need to cultivate more of in your life?
3. Is there anything in your life right now that is hindering you from spiritual growth?
4. Name a spiritual discipline you will begin cultivating into your daily habits and why that one.

Becoming the kind of leader Jesus models

“Calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, ‘You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them; and their people in high position exercise authority over them. But it is not this way among you; rather, whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant; and whoever wants to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many’” Mark 10:42-45

In Matthew 20:26-28, Jesus redefined greatness, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.”

This was revolutionary. In a world where power meant privilege, Jesus flipped the script. True greatness in the Kingdom is not found in control but in compassion. It does not come in being noticed, but in noticing others.

A servant leader chooses humility over hierarchy. Humility means freedom from pride or arrogance. Paul writes in Philippians 2 that Jesus, though equal with God, made Himself nothing, taking on the nature of a servant. If He could wash feet, so can we.

This mindset does not mean we become doormats. It means we serve with strength, anchored in identity. When we lead others, ask: “How can I lift them up? How can I make them successful?”

The best leaders go low so others can rise.

Write out Philippians 2:3-7. What parts of this verse are hard for you to live by right now.

From Hands-On to Heart-Led

Most of us have been faithfully serving: setting up chairs, leading a bible study, watching over kids, or maybe even greeting at the door. These tasks are essential to the life of the church. But leadership is not about what we do with our hands; it is about the posture of our hearts.

God is asking, “Will you serve me not only with your actions, but with your influence?” And the kind of influence He values most is servant-hearted leadership.

Write out Romans 12:10. Try to memorize this verse this week

The Kingdom Is Upside Down

In the world, leaders rise by climbing over others. A servant is one that serves others.

In the Kingdom, leaders rise by kneeling to serve. A Leader is someone that leads; person who has commanding authority or influence. Jesus flipped the whole idea of greatness:

• He washed feet (John 13), a task meant for servants.
• He touched lepers and welcomed children.
• He shared meals with outcasts and called fishermen to change the world.

If Jesus, the Son of God, chose servanthood as His leadership style, we must do the same.

Explain how John 13:12-17 shows Jesus turning things upside down.

According to 1 Corinthians 11:1 who are we ultimately imitating?

What Is Servant Leadership?

Servant leadership is not about:

• Being a pushover
• Avoiding authority
• Letting everyone else decide

It is about:

• Putting others first
• Carrying the weight of responsibility with humility
• Seeing leadership as a ministry, not a position

Servant leaders wash feet, even if we are tired. We pick up trash when no one is looking. We encourage others into the spotlight. We listen more than we speak. Here is testimony from Pastor Chuck Smith on his experience of being a servant-leader:

“Now I admit that there are times when I don’t find it so much joy. Some of the service that I have done, I have griped, and I will frankly admit it. I always feel guilty after I gripe, but I do gripe occasionally. Mainly when I have to pick up the cigarette butts around the church. That’s one task I just detest, and that’s again, from the time when I was a kid my mom told me, “Never touch a cigarette.” And I feel like I’m disobeying every time I pick one up. I hate to touch ’em. And so, quite often, as I’m picking up cigarette butts, I will be grumbling a bit. Until the Lord speaks to me and says, “Who are you doing that for?” And I say, “I’m doing it for You, Lord, and nobody else.” And He says, “Then why are you griping?” “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Lord. Forgive me.” But most generally, I find it a joy to serve. For Jesus said, “Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, you have done it to me”. So, I’m serving the Lord by serving my fellow man. Whatever I do for others, I’m really doing for Him. I’m His servant, that He has commanded me to serve the body of Jesus Christ. So, in being His servant I’m only obeying His orders as I serve the body of Christ; and in serving the body of Christ, I’m really serving Him. So, you can’t really separate it, it’s all tied up together” ~ Chuck Smith

According to Matthew 20:26 who is to be the servant?

What Kind of Leader Are We Becoming?

As we read about being a leader or servant leader, what are you discovering you lean more towards? Be honest with yourself, this is just between you and the Lord.

Ask yourself:

• Am I leading to be seen – or to build others up?
• Am I clinging to control – or releasing it to God?
• Do I serve only when it it convenient – or when it is costly?

Being a servant-leader does not mean we hide in the background. It means we are out front carrying the cross not our own crown. It means we are sacrificing control for the sake of others.

What is required to follow Jesus according to Matthew 16:24

Marks of a Servant-Hearted Leader

There are many ways we can tell if we are following the servant- leader model. Here are three of the top ways:

Humility Over Self-promotion: We are not the hero, Jesus is.

True leadership makes room for others and gives God the glory. It means that we put the Lord over our own importance, not seeking what will make us look good, feel good, or exalting self in the process.

Describe what 1 Peter 5:5-6 says about humilty. What do you need to do in order to live a humble life?

People Over Agendas:

We care more about who we are leading than how big the ministry gets. Numbers do not impress us – souls do.

How can we be an example to others based on Galatians 1:10?

Faithfulness Over Popularity

We would rather be faithful in a small room than famous on a stage. We are not in it for the spotlight. We want to serve the Lord, and are not looking for a pat on the back for the things we have done.

How are we taught to practice our righteousness based on Matthew 6:1-6?

Our Example Matters

Volunteers will watch how we treat people, how we handle pressure, and how we respond when things go wrong. Servant leadership does not just talk about Jesus, it reflects Him.

Even one person in our ministry catching that heart of servanthood can multiply that culture across the church.

What are four areas we can be an example to others in based on 1 Timothy 4:12?

Reflection Questions:

• In what ways do you naturally serve others?
• In what areas of your life or ministry is God inviting you to serve more deeply?
• How has Jesus’ model of leadership challenged your current way of serving?
• How are you modeling Jesus in the way you serve?
• Where have you struggled with self-promotion or control?
• How do you handle recognition or praise in your current serve team role?

Personal Challenge:

Ask another person on your team:

• “How can I serve you better this week?”
• Challenge yourself to ask someone you don’t know well.
• Then act on their answer.

Leadership Challenge:

This week, take initiative to serve in an unnoticed way:

• Clean a space without being asked
• Write an encouraging note to a fellow servant
• Pray privately for the people you serve with

Then, journal this: “What did I feel God doing in me as I served quietly?” Do not do what is normal, or easy. Stretch yourself.

Prayer & Journaling:

Jesus, make me more like You, as a servant leader, unafraid to go low for the sake of others…

Discussion Questions:

1. What does humility look like to you? Find a scripture that backs that up.
2. Name 1 thing you learned new about what it means to be a leader.
3. Can you explain the difference between being a servant-leader vs a corporate leader?
4. What is something the Lord is asking you to change in how you lead? What area does He want to work on in your leadership skills.

How church volunteers begin to step into leadership

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit, fruit that will last.” John 15:16

God has always used ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things. Scripture is filled with many accounts of shepherds turned kings, fishermen turned apostles, and unlikely servants turned leaders. Why? Because God is not looking for perfection, He is looking for willingness, looking for the one who will say “Here I am Lord, send me.”

Jesus said in John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit…” Leadership in the Kingdom does not begin with ambition, it begins with a calling. We are not in our current roles by coincidence. God has seen our hearts, our faithfulness, and our desire to serve. He is calling us to step into more. We were created with a purpose and each of us have a unique gifting. When we say yes to Jesus, He begins to use those gifting’s to fulfill His purpose, for His glory.

That calling may not come with fanfare. In fact, it usually comes quietly, in a nudge during worship, a conversation with a mentor, or an unmistakable pull toward greater responsibility. As Romans 8:28-30 reminds us, those God calls, He also equips. You don’t have to feel ready to be chosen. You simply need to say yes.

We are called to lead. Not because we have it all together, but because we are willing to follow Jesus wherever He leads.

What does Romans 8:28-30 speak to us about our callings?

What is scripture good for according to 2 Timothy 3:17?

According to Hebrews 13:21 what is Jesus equipping you for?

We are Not Just Filling a Spot, We are Answering a Call

Many people begin serving in church because there is a need. Someone asks for help with kids, the welcome team, sound, or at a ministry event. We said “yes” out of willingness and that is beautiful. But what if our “yes” was also the first step into a divine calling?

Leadership in the Kingdom is not a promotion it is a calling to go deeper. We are not just volunteering anymore. God is inviting us to carry responsibility, shepherd others, and reflect Christ as we lead. Leadership in the kingdom is about being the servant to all, not about giving out orders and being at the top.

According to 2 Timothy 1:8-9 how were we called, and by what?

What do we need to do in order to become a leader based on Matthew 20:25-28?

In John 13:13-17 what example of a leader were we given?

1 Peter 5:1-4 gives direction on how to lead. Write down the things you have learned.

What Is a Calling, Really?

A “calling” is not a lightning bolt or loud voice from heaven (though it was for Paul). A calling may take time to understand, accept, or process. A calling will be known by others not just ourselves. It is something others will see in us. Often, it looks more like:

• A burden that will not go away
• A desire to serve people in deeper ways
• Confirmation through mentors or pastors
• Doors that open repeatedly in one direction

How are we told to walk within our calling according to Ephesians 4:1-6?

How God Equips

The ultimate goal of God’s equipping is to enable believers to live a life that is pleasing to Him and to participate in His work of redemption and transformation in the world. God uses various means to equip us. It is our job to be intentional by moving within these means:

• Spiritual Gifts:
  • God bestows spiritual gifts upon believers, equipping us for specific ministries and service within the body of Christ.
• Personal Experience:
  • God uses life experience, both positive and challenging, to shape and equip believers for future service.
• Scripture:
  • The Bible is a source of wisdom, guidance and instruction equipping believers for every good work according to it.
• Holy Spirit:
  • Holy Spirit empowers believers to understand God’s will and to live out our faith in practical ways.
• Grace:
  • God’s grace enables us to accomplish tasks that would otherwise be impossible, providing the strength and ability to serve Him.

Signs We May Be Called to Lead

How do I know I am called? Is what I am feeling a calling or a desire I have? If you think you are being called, consider these questions:

• Do you often see how things could be done better – and want to help?
• Do others naturally come to you for advice or help?
• Do you feel a growing burden to guide others spiritually?
• Do you often pray for people in your church or ministry?
• Has a pastor or mentor encouraged you toward leadership?

If you said yes to any of these God may be preparing you for your next step. When we are feeling a quiet pull to lead, teach, guide, or build something for God, we should not dismiss it. That pull is not pride, it is purpose.

What is the Lord speaking to you through Jeremiah 1:6-7?

Called does not equal Ready

Many of us feel unqualified or overwhelmed by the idea of leading. That is normal. Most leaders in scripture did not feel ready. We may never feel ready, but when we are obedient God will use us even more than if we think we have it all together. The truth is: God qualifies those He calls. He looks for obedience, not perfection.

Read 1 Corinthians 1:26. Write about who you were before you came to Christ. Has your life changed or is it similar? Explain.

Next Steps in Responding to Our Call

I am sensing this call to lead: What do I do now?

• Pray: Ask God to affirm and clarify your role
• Talk to your leaders: Share what you’re sensing
• Be faithful where you are: God uses today’s obedience to prepare you for tomorrow’s leadership
• Learn: This book is a start.Keep growing in the Word, in prayer, and in leadership wisdom
• Connect: talk to others serving, learn about what it took others to become a leader

Isaiah 6:8 is Isaiah’s response to the call from the Lord. Are you ready to make this commitment in your own life?

Reflection Questions:

What is God asking of you right now? This may be in a specific ministry at church, home or work. Maybe he is leading you to a specific group of people.

Is there a specific project that is highlighted in your life right now?

In what ways have you sensed God nudging you toward leadership?

What fears or doubts do you feel about stepping into a leadership role?

Who in Scripture do you relate to in their journey toward leadership?

Personal Challenge:

Write your own answer to: “How do I feel God has called me to lead?” Post it where you will see it this week.

Leadership Challenge:

This week, find 30 minutes to sit quietly with God.

• Ask Him directly: “Lord, what are you calling me to do in this season?
• Write down anything that comes to heart.

Prayer & Journaling:

Lord, I thank You for calling me. I want to respond with faith and obedience. Help me see where You are leading…

Discussion Questions:

1. What does scripture tell us we need to do in order to become a leader?
2. What signs did you have that you were “called” to ministry? To leadership?
3. What ministry(s) are you serving in right now? Is that because of a calling or filling a need (not being able to say no)?
4. What fears or doubts do you have regarding your calling?